If the situation at my home had been different, it would have saved me a considerate amount of time though : ) Certainly, I did not really 'loose' time since I learned a lot about life and myself, and I'm still young, but education-wise it would have come in handy if I would have had a more 'normal' childhood.
The past year, after I got my Bachelor of Arts degree, I took a sabbath year. I really needed time to think things over study-wise. I had always wanted to study psychology, but I tried that one year and failed because of the fact that my head at that time was too full of all things that, then only very recently, had happened at my home. After that I was not sure what to do and eventually I decided to go and study languages because it's something I'm really apt to. I wanted to make something of myself and get a good diploma. Surely I would be able to reach these goals if I went on to study a subject I was really good at. And I did reach them. Only, I wasn't happy. I felt like there was missing something. I did not feel as completely and utterly fulfilled as one should feel studying. On the contrary, I felt miserable. Not that my school was not a good one, or that I hadn't got great teachers, 'cause I did, and my school was good too. I just felt like I wasn't being me, studying solely languages. Don't get confused here! I love learning foreign languages! Only not why most people study them in higher education. I just like to be able to communicate with people in their own language if I can. I also love to read, so being able to read a book in it's source language is an awesome advantage of learning a foreign language too.
So I took a year off and tried to figure it all out. It was a great year: I learned a lot of new skills, I traveled, I discovered even some new things about myself, but I still wasn't sure what I really wanted to do. Actually, I did, I knew I would love to study psychology again, but I was so afraid. Afraid to fail. Afraid to fail in the one thing I would love to do the most. The one thing I always had wanted to do.
Certainly because I wanted to combine studying psychology with studying philosophy. It is possible at KU Leuven to combine them, so that would not be a problem, but I really wanted to be able to combine studying at KUL with studying at CLT too. CLT is a language school where you can learn foreign languages at evening-time at a high level. I really love being a student there. I have now been a student there for six years and still going. I would and could not give that up! It's like a second home to me : ) Next to that, I was also afraid to study psychology because of the course statistics. I have a terrible fear of failure for math, so I first wanted to be able to follow courses without doing statistics. In that way, I could work on my fear of failure for math, while still doing the study I really love and enjoy.
It cost me quite some time to figure out if that was possible and how I would get there, but suddenly, on the road, it was like all of the pieces of the puzzle fell into place. I would study via a credit-contract. That way, I can decide more freely which courses I will follow, while still getting a good education. This means by no means that I'm not going for it and that I'm not going to try my hardest. I will take up a fair amount of courses; as many as they will let me. It also doesn't mean that I'm not afraid anymore, because I still am, but I realized that I have a dream, and I'm blessed to know what it is and to get the chance to make it come true. I may be afraid to fail, but I'm even more afraid to not follow my dream and one day come to the realisation that not following my dream was the worst mistake of my life. And after all, life is about the story you tell yourself. If you believe in yourself, you can make anything happen and nothing is impossible. Like Audrey Hepburn once said: "The word 'impossible' already says I'm possible" : )
And every time the going gets tough, because I'm sure that at times it will, it's like that with all things, I will try to keep in mind the following:
If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavours to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours. Henry David Thoreau
I sure hope I will : )